I am Glen Loyd's hair

I am Glen Loyd’s hair.

You may know that Glen retired recently. Well, as Glen's hair, I am announcing my retirement, too.

Glen doesn’t understand this…why the top of his head looks like a vacant lot now. He still uses high-performance shampoo, full-and-thick conditioner, dippity do and glitter hair spray, but as Glen's so called hair, I’m not sprucing up anymore. Glen is mostly combing scalp these day.

Because Glen spent most of his career before TV cameras, I--his hair--was vitally important to him. For example, when Glen was a 36-year-old Action reporter for the CBS-TV affiliate in Dallas, I was long, dark and wavy. I received $30 haircuts and a Dallas radio poll ranked us as hot and handsome.

You don’t think hair is important in TV news? Glen’s station in Dallas hired two anchorwoman for Eyewitness News who had zero journalism experience. They were beautiful models--one African American, the other a buxom blonde. Both had long Luster Cream curls. We three delightful dos were adored by millions in Texas.

An anchorman’s career often peters out as he ages and loses hair. Glen thought he was lucky, because at age 40, I--his hair--still covered his head although I was graying. He was happy looking in the dressing room mirror because he couldn’t see what his children started laughing about. I was thinning at the crown.

But I hung in there while Glen turned 50 and 60. Yes, I turned white and sparse but I was doing my job. Glen was appearing on TV many times a week and still he could fluff me--his hair--preparing for induction into the Wisconsin Broadcasters Hall of Fame at age 65.

Then Glen turned 70 and retired many of his roles. Well, it was time for me--his hair--to retire too. I was happy to serve him, but I am old and dry and most hair brushes have more strands than me now. I am not responding to glen’s comb anymore. The barber only charges $11.

But as Glen's hair, I will always remember those days in Dallas…and those beautiful Luster Cream curls and my Wildroot mop.

Hmmm…Hey Glen, get out your glitter hair spray! Let’s try a comb over.